I'm scared and... disgusted to have sex. I need help!

2021.12.05 19:36 basil_n_balsamic I'm scared and... disgusted to have sex. I need help!

CW: TMI and NSFW. I don't know who else to talk to, I hope I can post it here.
For background, I have never been able to orgasm more than once during a sex session. I'd get one very intense orgasm, then sometimes I could go on for a few minutes but could never reach the climax again and instead get tuckered out, sometimes I get too sensitive that I needed to stop the act altogether. Usually my husband and I would time it so that we'd orgasm together, or sometimes him right after me, so this has never been a problem for us... until last month.
We had sex, and per usual, I orgasmed and I just felt... so done. He kept going and I told him to finish, per usual. But I was so so so sensitive that I felt like just kicking him off of my body. It felt disgusting having him inside of me and his hands on my breasts. I felt violated, like it was rape though I know it's not. I didn't want him to cuddle me back to sleep per usual, I just wanted to be left alone, I hated his touch and his presence.
We had sex one more time after that, all the foreplay was good, I was in the mood for it. But as soon as he entered me, the same feeling of disgust came back to me. I couldn't enjoy myself, couldn't orgasm. I told him to just finish (without waiting for me), and I didn't feel like cuddling afterward. After that, I tried reading erotica and watching porn every few days, usually that would get me going. But now I couldn't... feel anything. I felt this sense of disgust reading about and watching sex, it kept reminding me of that time I orgasmed early and my husband was still inside.
I'm a STM. First time around, the second trimester sex was glorious. This pregnancy, sex has been rare since we are so busy and stressed with moving and finding new jobs and buying a new house while taking care of a toddler. My husband has never pressured me into sex, but last night he admitted it'd be nice if we had sex more often and more... romantically (instead of a quickie so we can get back to toddler or I can go to sleep). He wonders if I don't find him attractive anymore, since I haven't been touchy-feely lately.
I left to go to the bathroom, then I thought of that night again and started sobbing. I don't know how to tell him because it wasn't his fault, he didn't know and obviously didn't mean to make me feel violated - if I said "stop, he would, but I didn't say it. I still enjoy cuddling and spending time with him, I just don't want sex - even kissing turns me of because... it could lead to sex (?!). I didn't know how much it was bothering me until last night. I do want to be able to enjoy sex like a normal person, but now the idea of sex is very gross to me.
Will this feeling just go away? What can I do to not hate sex again?
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I am on the anniversary edition on Series X. This is my current LO after just rearranging.
Unofficial Skyrim modders patch
Cheat room
Yot-Your own thoughts
Forest of sorrows main menu replacer
More to say
Cloaks and capes
Wearable lanterns
Equipment of eternal shine
Unofficial tawoba add on armor
Survival mode settings
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Wear multiple rings
Force spells
Rustic weather and night sky 4k
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Skyland night sky
Redesigned females
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Xp32 max skeleton
Joy of perspective
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Smim 2k
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Enhanced blood textures
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Divine embers hd
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Visual animated enchants
Leanwolfs better shaped weapons
Extended encounters
Immersive patrols
Realistic conversations
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Elfx enhanced updated
Hd unique handmade signs
Skyrim remastered-caves
Simply darker nights
Realistic water two se
Immersive movement
The notice board
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Guide to finding creation club content
Alternate start
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